My kids seem to be confused about the differences between men and women and what their various roles in "the family" are. I am realizing more and more how confusing this topic can be to explain. Our modern world consists of so many different types of people and families that there is no standard answer anymore. For instance, my son Andrew asked his dad the other day how men have babies... “I know I can't have a baby Dad, but how do boys get babies?" My husband simply said "You find a nice girl, marry her, and she has a baby that is yours too. Like Mom and I had you and Evelyn." Andrew simply pondered for a moment, accepted, and that was that. But as I thought about this later, I probably would have gone on a bit about how some men love other men and may adopt a baby or find a woman friend to have a baby for them. Or maybe I should explain about stepchildren and such. I want him to grow up understanding and being comfortable with different types of families, but how in depth do you get with a five year old?
Another example is that my daughter Evelyn continually says that "...When I become a boy, I will play that game...." She idolizes her brother and often mistakes being older for being a boy and envies all the things her brother can do. I simply tell her that when she is older, she will not be a boy, but she can do anything she wants when she is an older girl! Then a small little voice inside me said...she could be a lesbian or she could want to actually be a boy someday. And I wouldn't want her to feel that this isn't a valid option. But again, I chose the standard and less complicated answer.
I can imagine how confusing things can be for kids today. I read once that when your kids ask a question, it is important to tell them the truth with no frills or beating around the bush. Tell them straight out how it is. I have no problem with that at all. We are an open family and don't feel the need to hide the facts of life from our kids. The problem is that I just don't know what the truth is. There are many truths and there is not one token answer to give them.
In any respect, I love to hear my kids take on life and how they have come to understand how things are. I will leave you with an overheard conversation between my 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter the other day...
Evie: When I am a boy, I will have a penis.
Andrew: Evie, when you’re big, you won't be a boy. You will be a mommy and you will always poop and pee out of your bum. And you will have big boobies like Mom. But, I like your little boobies.
Evie: I want to be a Dad when I grow up.
End of conversation.
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